


Della Knows Something You Don't

by the1crazycatlady



Category: Perry Mason (TV)
Genre: Bad Flirting, Behind the Scenes, Crows, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I am completely serious, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, Subterfuge, The Course of True Love (and First Dates)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-17 20:59:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3543581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the1crazycatlady/pseuds/the1crazycatlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was watching "The Case of the Sun Bather's Diary" and couldn't help but notice Della's knowing looks at Perry and Hamilton when they were sitting really close together and talking and flirting badly.</p><p>I do not apologize - at all.</p><p>(OR: The ending of "Sun Bather's Diary" from Della's perspective while Perry Mason and Hamilton Burger discuss crows and almost certainly secretly play footsie beneath the table.)</p><p>Don't own anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Della Knows Something You Don't

**Author's Note:**

> I'm new to the series and only about halfway through Season 1, so I apologize if the people are a little out of character - I tried my hardest.

Della smiled at the waitress as she went by, then hurried over to when Perry was waiting. It was at their usual table, which was big enough for four, but usually only harbored two or three patrons.

Perry was reading the newspaper, and looked up when she sat down. He lowered his coffee and Della pulled the check out of her purse.

“Look what just arrived in the mail from Bushwick Indemnity.” She handed the check to Perry and began to settle herself down in the booth

“ 'Pay to the order of Perry Mason twenty-five-' ” Perry broke off momentarily. “Twenty-five thousand dollars.” He smiled. “Very nice.”

Della grinned and began to unfold her napkin.

“Endorse this over to Frank Dowling.” Perry dropped the check onto the table. Della looked at him, shocked. He noticed her expression and continued, “Well, after all, Della, the man's been in jail.” Perry rested his hand along the back of the booth. “As far as we're concerned, it's just another case.”

Della smiled and bent forward, giving Perry a quick kiss on the cheek. Then she turned back to her napkin, trying not to laugh at the lipstick mark on the side of Perry's face.

“My mother always told me to turn the other cheek,” Perry stated, turning his head expectantly. Della smiled and grabbed his face. She wiped the lipstick off and settled the napkin down on the table.

“I'll take care of this when we get back to the office,” she said, grabbing the check and sliding it into her purse. “I'm _famished_.”

“Amy!” Perry called. The waitress stopped at their table and gave them a menu. “Thank you, Amy.

“Now, mademoiselle,” Perry began, this time speaking to Della, “the rarest of delicacies are yours for the asking – would you care to order?”

Della took one fleeting look at the menu, then glanced up at Amy.

“Coffee, bacon and eggs.”

Perry closed the menu. “Did you get all that, Pierre?”

“Are you buying, Mr. Moneybags?”

Della had been settling her napkin down in her lap; she looked up. Hamilton Burger had suddenly showed up and sat himself down next to Perry... _very_ close next to Perry, she couldn't help but note. The distance was polite enough for men, but, nevertheless, suspiciously close. She shoved the feelings aside.

“Moneybags?” Perry looked down at the table, grinning. Della reached up and wiped something out of her eye.

“I heard about the $25,000 reward,” Burger stated, clasping his hands in front of him. Perry reached down and picked up his coffee. “Some people have all the luck.”

“Is that what you call it, Mr. Burger?” Della wondered. Burger looked up at her.

“Yes.” With that, Burger turned away, to Perry, and Della raised an eyebrow, suddenly realizing that the already scant distance between the two men was even smaller; indeed, their arms were touching. _It's probably just my silly imagination._

“By the way, what made you decide on Emory?” Burger wondered. Perry lowered his coffee cup.

“You.”

“Huh?” Burger's face seemed like that of flattery and simple confusion.

“Obviously, you were tipped off that I was meeting Arlene at Sunset and Maple Drive,” Perry explained.

“Well, what if I was?”

Della watched as Perry slid his hand underneath the table; Burger drew in a slight breath; the whole set of actions was minor, barely noticeable, really.

“That information could only have come from Bill Emory,” Perry replied; “he was in my office when Arlene telephoned me.”

Burger chuckled, amazed, and looked away from Perry. “I see.” The defense attorney glanced back at him, slowly. “The indictment for perjury against you has been quashed.”

“Thank you.” Perry brought his hands up onto the table and seemed to consider something for a moment. “Well, under the circumstances, the least I can do is to buy your lunch.” Perry leaned closer to Burger, who just sat there, staring at him.

“All right, if you insist.” Burger finally leaned back against the booth and settled one hand on his lap, leaving the other on the tabletop.

“I do insist,” Mason agreed, resting a hand on his shoulder. Della looked at them: first Mason, then Burger, and an idea struck her.

 _Oh, for heaven's sake, no._ Della shook her head, turning to her purse; she pulled out her compact mirror and began to check her makeup. _The very thought is preposterous._

“Amy!” Perry called again. The waitress came back and Perry looked at Hamilton, resting a hand on his wrist tenderly. Della looked up from her mirror. “One order of crow for the gentleman.”

Burger's jaw dropped slightly and he recoiled backwards, sucking in another breath.

“Uh, he'll eat it here,” Perry continued, looking up at Amy. Then he smiled, patted Burger's hand, and let go. He reached for his coffee and took another sip, smirking at the D.A. over the rim of the cup. “You look a little pale, Hamilton. Is something the matter?”

Burger opened and shut his mouth a few times, then just narrowed his eyes at Perry and straightened up, possibly in an attempt to regain his dignity.

Della shook her head and clamped her compact shut. “If you two gentlemen will excuse me, I need to touch up my nose.”

“Take your time, Della,” Perry called. Della smiled at him and made her way to the powder room. As she was shutting the door behind her, she saw Perry drape his arm along the back of the booth behind Burger.

She pulled out her foundation and began to dab at her nose. _Surely not_ , she thought. But then, who was she to deny what was happening? Burger hadn't been there more than a few minutes and they were sitting so _closely_ . It was a strange thought, but they _were_ being particularly obvious.

She chuckled to herself and shook her head. Now that she thought about it, Burger didseem like he was a bit toofriendly at times, especially in court. How many times had she seen Burger just sitting and looking at Perry, expression totally blank? Truth be told, she'd lost count after the first few times. She'd assumed it was simply a jealous rivalry that started the very second a dead body showed up, but maybe she had been wrong.

“Wouldn't that be funny,” she mused, packing up her makeup. “And here I thought I was simply going out to lunch.”

It was strange, thinking of Perry being involved with Burger that way. She'd known Perry for years, and he'd never made any sort of suggestion to preferring men over women – specifically Hamilton Burger, of all people. But then, they'd never really talked much about their romantic lives.

Perhaps they weren't involved, though. Not in the official sense, at the very least – _that would be something._ She decided the civil thing to do would be to eat lunch and then leave the two of them with themselves.

She made her way back to the table; they were talking again, faces unreasonably close together. She couldn't hear what they were saying, though it seemed pretty intense, the way they barely noticed her when she sat back down.

“And what are you two talking about now?” she wondered, resting her napkin back down on her lap. They looked over at her and Burger pulled away from Perry.

“Nothing important, Della,” Perry stated. Burger rested his hands on the table and looked at Perry out of the corner of his eye. Della looked away, hiding her smile with her hands.

Amy came back then, with Della's order. “Here you go, ma'am.” She set the food down in front of Della.

“Thank you, Amy,” Della said; she began to eat and the waitress turned to Burger.

“Your crow will be coming soon, sir.”

Burger sighed and glanced over at Perry, then back at Amy. “ _Thanks._ ” The sarcasm was overwhelming.

“Can I get you a drink in the meantime?”

Burger looked at Perry. “Could I possibly order my own drink at least?”

“Of course, Hamilton.” Perry smirked and took a sip of coffee. “Help yourself.”

Burger glanced up at Amy. “Coffee please – strong, with a side of sugar.”

“Right away, sir.” Amy went off and Burger suddenly looked down at his lap, off to the side in Perry's direction. He licked his lips and looked back up. There was a thump, like that of someone kicking someone else and accidentally brushing against the side of a wooden surface.

Della looked at them, one after another and back again. She swallowed and put down her fork.

“I must have been hungry,” she remarked, standing up; “I'm done and Mr. Burger hasn't even gotten his own lunch yet.”

“Oh, are you sure you won't stay, Della?” Perry asked, smiling up at her.

“I'd love to, Perry, but I have a few papers to type up. I'll be sure to endorse that check for you.”

“Thank you, Della,” Perry said; “I'll be along just as soon as the district attorney finishes his crow.” He smiled at Burger, who stared at him blankly.

Della nodded at Burger and walked out of the restaurant. Outside, she paused and looked back at the building; she thought about the scene she'd just witnessed.

She had to lean against the building to keep from laughing.


End file.
